Friday, April 08, 2005
An Old Poem I Found...
A Change In Life
For years I have walked lonely
The paths of ice
Ever seeking someone warm
A companion on life's way.
For years I have only found
The paths barren
Ever without any fire
In companions who were not true.
Then by chance, destiny changed;
The pathway cleared
Ever to my surprise
A champion, friend, companion was revealed.
For years, future, I shall rejoice
The paths to traverse
Ever sharing experience
In loving life with you.
© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Thanks for reading...
Smiles,
Jo Ann
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Friday, April 01, 2005
A Very Personal Entry on Loss
THE LAST TIME I SAW MY GIRLS…
The last time I saw my twin baby girls they had never had opportunity to breathe our air. They were dead before they were born. I looked at each exquisite little body and cried for the loss of them. I never heard them cry or laugh, or saw them smile. It was inequitable, and hurt my heart and soul deeply.
I wanted to be their mother tremendously. I so needed to raise my girls and share their triumphs and tears. As I left them cold in the hospital and went back out into my life, I felt diminished. What was I without their presence?
Another bit of walking wounded had taken hold.
Katherine Rose and Melissa Faith were children of love, too magnificent to exist among us. I looked at them and whispered, "I will never forget you." That is a pledge I will always keep.
They were so like their Daddy, and yet a fragment of my characteristics was visible in each form. Leaving them, somehow I wanted to bring my girls with me. They were not there... the part of them I saw was just the shell holding their lives.
Even those little bodies, I desired to take with me. I knew it would not be beneficial, and I had to release them, but I never felt anguish as intensely.
I do not regret carrying them in my womb, but will forever miss their living.
The last time I saw my twins they were nude and I did not expose their bodies completely. I regret I did not see the whole of them one last time.
Just then, I felt as if looking at them I would never be able to leave. I had to go on living. I let them go away, and now I only have their ashes, memories, and photographs. I also carry them alive within my mind…
My girls will never know how much I loved them, but it comforts me to realize how precious they are. The last time I saw my twins I gave them up to God, and honored them by returning to my life.
There is more love in me than ever…
© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
The last time I saw my twin baby girls they had never had opportunity to breathe our air. They were dead before they were born. I looked at each exquisite little body and cried for the loss of them. I never heard them cry or laugh, or saw them smile. It was inequitable, and hurt my heart and soul deeply.
I wanted to be their mother tremendously. I so needed to raise my girls and share their triumphs and tears. As I left them cold in the hospital and went back out into my life, I felt diminished. What was I without their presence?
Another bit of walking wounded had taken hold.
Katherine Rose and Melissa Faith were children of love, too magnificent to exist among us. I looked at them and whispered, "I will never forget you." That is a pledge I will always keep.
They were so like their Daddy, and yet a fragment of my characteristics was visible in each form. Leaving them, somehow I wanted to bring my girls with me. They were not there... the part of them I saw was just the shell holding their lives.
Even those little bodies, I desired to take with me. I knew it would not be beneficial, and I had to release them, but I never felt anguish as intensely.
I do not regret carrying them in my womb, but will forever miss their living.
The last time I saw my twins they were nude and I did not expose their bodies completely. I regret I did not see the whole of them one last time.
Just then, I felt as if looking at them I would never be able to leave. I had to go on living. I let them go away, and now I only have their ashes, memories, and photographs. I also carry them alive within my mind…
My girls will never know how much I loved them, but it comforts me to realize how precious they are. The last time I saw my twins I gave them up to God, and honored them by returning to my life.
There is more love in me than ever…
© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)