Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Thankful List - Tuesday, May 31, 2011

I really need to do this right now because I am in a very negative mind space. I am not sure I can come up with ten positive things but I am going to try.

I am thankful:

1. Mom’s diagnostic mammogram showed there was nothing wrong.
2. My dog, Hope, is always faithful and loving.
3. I have a working computer.
4. I have internet access.
5. Libraries have books I can borrow.
6. I have a home that provides shelter for me.
7. I have food to eat.
8. I have fresh water to drink, cook with, and bathe in.
9. I have a creative mind.
10. I have friends who do not desert me when I am sad.

I managed to write this out. Maybe I should do it several days in a row to encourage a better mood. Something has to change or I am going to wind up having to go for counseling despite my lack of funds.

Always,
Jo Ann

Monday, May 30, 2011

When I Am At A Crossroads, I…

When I am at a crossroads, I look both ways before crossing. This includes looking backward into the past, and forward toward the possibilities of the future. I try to base present decisions on the consequences I have experienced from past choices. Sometimes I can only hope that things will improve in the future. I know that the present is only temporary, but some of its happenings are causing wonder about how things will turn out. Moment by moment I navigate the storms that batter me without a reliable global positioning system. I have no conception of where I will end up, but am terribly afraid it will be in a bad situation. I just hope my new circumstances allow internet connection so I can stay in contact with the outside world, which helps ground me. I need my friends for support, and most of them only interact with me in the cyber-world. This is not most beneficial. Eye contact and vocal communication add much to conversation that text fails to convey. However, Facebook, Twitter, and the email group Journal Writing are better than isolation.

Always,
Jo Ann

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Incompetence Rules

One expects great care
Dealing with professionals,
Sadly mistaken.

Diligence lacking
Most tasks are carelessly done,
Mistakes often made.

Such outrageous costs
For inferior service,
Must still fully pay.

The price quite absurd,
Total incompetence rules
Our society.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

To the Survivors of Tornadoes 2011

After the awful storms were over,
The terrible devastation complete,
Little was left unscathed, intact.

Many were lost to the storms’ treachery,
For those copious tears continually fall
And survivors will always be left to grieve.

Those graciously spared said grateful prayers
Just fervently thankful to still be there
To hold close a loved one so very dear.

Even though their homes were gone,
They stood up proud and strong
Determined to continue, carry on.

They fought to put their lives back
In some semblance of together
And others came to lend them aid.

So many brave, battered souls
Lifted up by millions of prayers,
God be with them, always there.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Tuesday, May 24, 2011

I Am Fragile, Weak

My psychiatrist says I must now
See him every three months
So he can vigilantly observe me
Because I came nearly apart again.

The stress to which I am currently subjected
Is somewhat beyond my ordinary safety limit.
I worry about Mom obsessively and constantly,
I cannot distance myself from her plight.

I have full responsibility for care of Mom
And everything else, which is maintained here.
There is no one stepping in to render aid,
It is do-it-myself or leave it completely undone.

I am capable, and can perform most tasks
As long as no one looks too closely or asks,
“How are you doing?” I answer, “Very well.”
I will not let down my habitual trusted mask.

Underneath the well-worn façade I realize
There are cracks in my courage, my resolve,
I barely hold on to my placid existence:
I live in total abject horror of Mom’s passing.

My friends who pay close attention may
Have some awareness of my fragility,
But my family does not recognize
How very desperate I sometimes am.

I must toughen up and stand firm
For the situation will not get better
Mom’s deterioration is hastening along,
I promised to care for her, and I will.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Monday, May 23, 2011

Half My Life Is Gone, And I Have Given

Many days I have spent in deep despair
Because the love I wanted was not there
Within the heart of him I desired, so dear.

Many days I have tried to please
Someone or other who only teased
With words and actions at their ease.

Many days I have gone to great length
To show my character possesses strength
With little success, or so others might think.

Many days I have spent wandering inside
The creations of writer’s minds outside
The reality where I must truly reside.

Many days I have tried to inspire
Myself or someone else to enquire
Into the depths of creativity’s empire.

Many days I have gone beyond myself
Trying to help another achieve for themselves
What I could not seem to do by myself.

Many days and countless hours, I have spent
Hoping that I might somehow repent
For wasted time that others may resent.

Many days I have tried to finally accomplish
Some worthy work to fulfill my lifelong wish
To do something perfectly and actually finish.

Many days I have gone alone to bed
With silly dreams of victory in my head
For deeds undone and words left unsaid.

© Jo Ann J.A. Jordan
Monday, May 23, 2011

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Come To Me In The Silence Of The Night

After my mother has gone to bed,
When the television is turned off
And I can think, clearly and completely.

We will create something wondrous,
A poem or story the world has not seen
A hint of at any other given time.

Come to me when I can fully relax,
Give myself over to my imagination
With no qualms about Mom’s neglect.

Come muse, infuse me with passion,
Give over my will to the flow of words,
Create something fabulous in my mind.

Never torment me by eluding my effort
Give me the words I need without pause
For I am enslaved, enthralled, in your service.

After all the errands are finally run
When the world is drifting into slumber
And I can devote all my energy, totally.

We will endeavor to capture the exact word,
A noun, adjective, or verb as yet unheard
By the unsuspecting, unready world.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Sunday, May 22, 2011

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Haiku – Saturday, May 21, 2011 – Early Morning


My Mom is not well
I struggle to aid her health,
The days are fleeting.

My Kindle woos me
With an abundance of words,
I read at leisure.

I adore reading,
But writing is my true work...
Must apply effort.

If world is ending
I will not complete my work,
So much left undone.

Many predictions
None yet have ever come true,
Only God knows time.

After all this time
My love has barely faded,
You still have my heart.

Coming into day
With great anticipation
To accomplish much.

Memory may fade
But moments are still treasured
As each passes by.

We killed the head,
The body still organizes
Preparing to strike.

A child is a gift
A responsibility
Treasured forever.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

I Am Afraid…

Mom’s health is deteriorating. She is having more problems all the time. I am doing my best to care for her, but I have no control over systems in her body that are malfunctioning. I monitor and report to her doctors. They do not have the answers either. We are fighting a war we cannot win against an opponent all who live must face, aging. Eventually living catches up with us and we begin to wear out. Death comes steadily closer in an inevitable march.

Tuesday, we both had mammograms. Mine was fine. They found something suspicious on the left side in Mom’s results. She has to have another mammogram next Tuesday. I know it may be as simple as a shadow, but I am worried. What will I do if there is something wrong? How will I face it?

Her blood pressure has been uncontrollable. Sometimes it is very high, sometimes it is very low. I monitor it, but I cannot regulate it.
The Parkinson’s disease is progressing; the weakness and trembling are getting worse. I cannot make it go away.

Her memory is failing. There are things she just does not hold in her mind anymore. I try to keep up with everything, but what of the things she knew that I never learned?

I try my best to care for her, but nothing I do is making things better. I hate watching her get worse, but I cannot stop the hands of time.

I still need my mother, without her things will be so much more difficult for me. I will have to go without the things she helps me have. I will have no one to listen to my uncontrolled rants. I will have no one to share my fears. I will have no one to cheer me when I have no will to carry on. No one cares for me so much or so unconditionally. Who will face my insanity with me and help me back to reality? Who will talk to me, anytime? Who will bring me a present, just because? I do not think I can face life without her. How do I prepare to lose her? Can I really face days alone?

I am afraid… I know I am strong, but I am also very weak. I am used to her support, she is always there holding me in her love. How will I survive?

God is with us always, but sometimes God seems impersonal and far away. Mom can hold me in her arms, God cannot, not physically. How do I live without hugs and smiles?

I pray she is here longer, because I love Mom so much, but I also pray she has to suffer very little. I cannot hold her to this life when she is very uncomfortable here.

What am I to do? I am terrified…

Always,
Jo Ann

Writing Fears

This is an exercise from Page after Page by Heather Sellers. I am to make a list of twenty five fears I have about writing. They may not all be rational, but here is my list:

1.     I don’t have anything important to say.
2.     I don’t have a college degree.
3.     I might say something embarrassing.
4.     My grammar isn’t great.
5.     I might make a mistake.
6.     Someone might dislike my writing.
7.     I have a disability.
8.     I might use the wrong words.
9.     I am not good at writing.
10.    I am scared to tell my truth because someone might hate me for it.
11.    I don’t have enough time to make all the writing perfect.
12.    I will never finish anything.
13.    It is too hard to write.
14.    My life isn’t interesting enough.
15.    I have not accomplished enough in my life.
16.    I constantly edit myself.
17.    I am really a reader, not a writer.
18.    My ideas are too original.
19.    My ideas aren’t original enough.
20.    I don’t always make sense.
21.    If I succeed I might not be presentable in public because I am not beautiful.
22.    I should participate in more writer’s groups.
23.    I am not a good enough person to be a writer.
24.    No one wants to read my drivel.
25.    I don’t have enough talent.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

When I Write… I Must Sacrifice

Unfortunately, I do not write as much as I should. I have some talent, and some say a way with words. There are things I concentrate on more than writing practice.

I am an avid reader. This year I have read forty-five books and they have not been thin volumes. I will read instead of taking time to write.

I have responsibilities that take up a large amount of my time: chores, shopping, caring for Mom and the dogs, and cooking. I also spend many moments computing: checking and answering email, chatting with my son, Alex, who is a U.S. Marine, updating and checking Facebook, and posting to Twitter and reading the posts of those I follow.

The truth is these pursuits do not prevent my writing. I could read and compute less, easily finding time to devote to writing, but I am not motivated to do so, because I enjoy reading and computing. Writing is exhausting mental work. It is much easier to take information in than to formulate meaningful sentences, which will hold the attention of another person. Often I think of writing, but am not inspired with a topic upon which to expound. I can come up with a 140-character thought to post to Twitter and Facebook, but going beyond that is more difficult.

I have a plethora of books on the art and craft of writing, and could probably find inspiration in some of those. I know I should write if I ever intend to produce work of value. I am so afraid of writing something of inferior quality that I avoid writing much at all.

I love writing and find it very satisfying. I feel a need to put my words into a permanent form, but I rarely make the sacrifice required to accomplish that goal. Perhaps there is an element of laziness in this shirking of effort.

I am sincerely considering reading less so that I may devote more time to writing. That would be a huge sacrifice to me because reading is one of my greatest joys.

If you write, what do you sacrifice to put out your words ?

Always,
Jo Ann

 

Note to Writers and Authors

I am an avid reader and I write. I do not know that I will ever be widely published because I have a great fear of failure. That stymies my creativity.

Today, I speak directly to writers and authors. I love reading and spend much of my time perusing the pages of books and eBooks. I am a kind reviewer, giving many of the books I read the highest ratings. However, I find it very distracting to read poorly edited books. To come upon one or two mistakes in a text is forgivable, but when pages are riddled with wrong words, omitted words, and grammatical problems, it pulls me out of the story. I see how careless the writer has been and how little respect he/she has for the reader. I like to give indie authors a chance when I read on my Kindle, but many of these eBooks appear to be totally unedited. The story may be marvelous, but the craft should be attended to as well.

I know most of us write on computers these days, and am thankful for spell-check. Even with the marvelous aids given by technology, a careful reading of what is written is required. If you, as a writer, lack the skill to recognize your own mistakes, have someone with some knowledge of English read over your work and suggest corrections. Please have enough respect for your readers to produce clear copy. You will earn more repeat readers by so doing.

I hope this will make an impression on those who are self-publishing, and even those with publishers.

Always,
Jo Ann

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

I Don’t Care Either…

I received this as a forwarded email. I thought it worth passing along here.

Thought you might like to read this letter to the editor of a British national newspaper. Ever notice how some people just seem to know how to write a letter?

Here is a woman who should run for Prime Minister!

Written by a housewife, to her daily newspaper. This is one ticked off lady.

“Are we fighting a war on terror or aren’t we? Was it or was it not started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores in July 2002, and in New Your, September 11, 2001 and have continually threatened to do so since?

Were people from all over the world, not brutally murdered that day in London, and in downtown Manhattan, and in a field in Pennsylvania?

Did nearly three thousand me, women and children die a horrible burning or crushing death that day, or didn’t they?

And I’m supposed to care that a few Taliban were claiming to be tortured by a justice system of the nation they come from and are fighting against in a brutal insurgency.

I’ll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents for incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11 and 7/7>

I’ll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring about the Holy Bible, the mere belief of which is a crime punishable by beheading in Afghanistan.

I’ll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for hacking off Nick Berg’s head while Berg screamed through his gurgling slashed throat.

I’ll care when the cowardly so called ‘insurgents’ in Afghanistan come out and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in mosques and behind women and children.

I’ll care when the mindless zealots who blow themselves up in search of Nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide bombs.

I’ll care when the British media stops pretending that their freedom of speech on stories is more important than the lives of the soldiers on the ground or their families waiting at home to hear about them when something happens.

In the meantime, when I hear a story about a British soldier roughing up an insurgent terrorist to obtain information, know this:

I don’t care.

When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not to move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take this to the bank:

I don’t care.

When I hear that a prisoner – who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and ‘fed special food’ that is paid for by my taxes – is complaining that his holy book is being ‘mishandled,’ you can absolutely believe in your heart of hearts:

I don’t care.

And oh, by the way, I’ve noticed that sometimes it’s spelled ‘Koran’ and other times ‘Quran.’ Well, believe me, you guessed it…

I don’t care!”

If you agree with this viewpoint, pass this on to all your friends. Sooner or later, it’ll get to the people responsible for this ridiculous behavior!

If you don’t agree, then by all means ignore it. Should you choose the latter, then please don’t complain when more atrocities committed by radical Muslims happen here in our great country! And may I add:

‘Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. Our soldiers don’t have that problem.’

I have another quote that I would like to add, AND… I hope you forward all this,

Only five defining forces have ever offered to die for you:

1. Jesus Christ
2. The British Soldier
3. The Canadian Soldier
4. The U.S. Soldier
5. The Australian Soldier

One died for your soul, the other four for your freedom.

You might want to pass this on, as many seem to forget about all of them.

Amen!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

A Review of A Book I Loved

If you are looking for an excellent gift for the readers in your life on Mother’s Day, I believe you will make them very happy if you give them this superb book.

The Other Life by Ellen Meister is the most beautiful book I have read in years. The story is full of love, pain, joy, and triumph. The characters touch the heart and make one cheer. The choice between two lives is portrayed with great care.

What if you could step from one reality to another? How would you choose between those you love? The choice to go into a life where there is less personal turmoil would tempt anyone, especially if the other life held someone very dear. Quinn is faced with no easy choices. She lives honestly and goes through a huge dilemma deciding her fate and that of those she loves.

I give this book my highest recommendation. I believe the story will touch your heart and make you think. There is so much contained within the covers of this volume. The secondary characters are well developed and presented with loving consideration. Go get this book and read it, you will not regret a single moment you spend with this splendid tale.

Always,
Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

Friday, April 08, 2011

A Bit of My History with Mental Illness

I have lived with diagnosed mental illness since 1981. When I look back, I know it began before then. The bullying I was subjected to throughout my school years, the consistent yelling and fighting that went on between my parents and the sexual abuse I suffered at the hands of my father negatively affected me and does to this day. I have forgiven those that hurt me, but the damage lingers ingrained in my personality, my emotions, and my mind.


I married at sixteen, hoping that would end some abuse, but because my husband and I lived for a time in my parents’ home nothing really changed. We finally moved out and I was away from my father, so some trauma eased. There were serious problems in the marriage and it fell apart. The divorce was driving me insane and then I was given drugs that caused my first huge psychiatric breakdown in 1981. My mother and brother rescued me. I nearly died and without the prayers of thousands of people, I would never have made it. The doctors told my family that I would be a vegetable, but God had other plans.


I moved back into my parents’ home and the sexual abuse began again. My father was a master manipulator, who kept me in fear so I never revealed what was happening to me. He hid all his deviousness from my mother, so she was never aware of his monstrous acts. Threats kept me scared to say anything even when he was convicted of child molestation with other children. I also feared that the father I deeply loved would be taken out of my life forever and did not know how my mother and I would survive without my father’s financial support.


I was originally diagnosed with severe Paranoid Schizophrenia. I was on medication for a while, but because of the cost and the severe side effects, I did not remain on it long. I worked and lived at home where I was tormented for several years. I was in and out of mental wards and on and off medication.


When the opportunity to move in with a co-worker presented itself, I quickly accepted. That situation was not a good one and I moved back to my parents’ home after a short time. I then moved in with a boyfriend and that worked until he began mistreating me. I went back to my parents’ home, worked and suffered. Another boyfriend invited me to Chattanooga, Tennessee to live with him and marry. That went well for a while. He was determined I keep a job so I went to High Point, North Carolina and sold Kirby vacuums door to door. The situation there was not ideal and my mother came to get me. I moved back to Chattanooga with my boyfriend. I was not on medication and became pregnant in 1987. My boyfriend wanted me to have an abortion, but I was afraid I might never get pregnant again, and did not believe in abortion, so I fought for my baby. My boyfriend and I married, but he warned me it was a two-year trial marriage. Alex was born on May 16, 1988, and I devoted my life to him, and trying to please my husband. Before the two years were over my husband demanded a divorce. He would allow me to continue to live with him, but we would no longer be married. Alex and I went back to my parents’ home and the abuse began again. I had another mental breakdown including hospitalization and went back on medication for a short time.


I recovered enough to get a decent management job, and met my third husband. We lived in my parents’ basement, but most of the abuse stopped. I was overworked in my job and very sleep deprived. Eventually it led to my having a mental breakdown, at this point my diagnosis was changed to Schizo-Affective Disorder. My boss unfairly fired me terminating my excellent health and disability benefits. I was not able to go back to work. My parents moved to Douglas County, where my brother, James, lived. They left us to rent their house in Mableton with our payments going toward purchasing the house. We lived happily for quite a while, but in 1996 my nephew, Jim, was killed in a car accident, and my father died of an aneurism shortly afterward. I had been living without medication and the stress caused me to have problems. Our marriage fell apart, and I was again hospitalized. While the divorce was going on, I applied for Social Security Disability at the recommendation of my doctors. I finally began receiving benefits in 1997 after moving back with my Mom. I stayed on my medication and lived quite well. Alex and I were quite happy.


I continued to communicate with my third ex-husband and we recovered our relationship in 1999. Alex and I moved into his home. I became pregnant with twins and stopped taking my medication. The twins had Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome. Melissa Faith died and the neo-natal doctors urged me to terminate Katherine Rose because there were extremely high risk factors for her and myself. In one of the hardest decisions I ever made, I chose to terminate the pregnancy. My mental state declined and I disobeyed a rule my ex had made. He kicked us out of the house and put all our belongings on the carport, subsequently those things were stolen. I over dosed on medication trying to kill myself because I felt there was no hope for me. I wound up in the hospital and was put back on medication. Alex and I tried living with my brother, Melvin, but that was a total disaster and I asked my Mom if we could come back to her home. She agreed.


Shortly after we moved in with her, Mom was stung by twenty-seven yellow jackets and she had a mini-stroke. Her health began to decline, she was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, and she was restricted from driving because of the mini-strokes. I became her primary caregiver. My brother, James, was diagnosed with lung cancer. My brother, Melvin, learned my father had molested my nieces, my friend, and I. He and his wife, Carol, cut off all contact with my Mom and brother, James. They claim it is my Mom’s fault my father abused us. They declare she is just as guilty as he was. When I finally asked Mom if she knew my father had abused us, she said no. I believe my Mom because she has never been a liar. Carol continued to communicate with me by email, but I finally decided if they could no longer visit my Mom and James that I did not need to be in contact with them.


Thanks to my Mom and brother, James, I was able to raise Alex to become a fine young man. He is a United States Marine serving our country. James died on March 15, 2009 after a prolonged illness in which Mom and I provided a great deal of his care. I promised James I would take care of Mom and I intend to do it to the best of my ability.

I am very fortunate that I am controlled on medication right now. Even with it, I have some impairment, but it is not obvious in most interactions. I realize it, and am aware that I am having difficulties, but others may not.


Right now, there are things that are stressing me terribly. Without my Social Security Disability Income, Medicare, and medically needy Medicaid I could not survive. I am afraid of cuts to these programs. My Mom is seriously ill and experiencing a worsening of symptoms and effects right now, and as her full-time caregiver I am under a lot of stress. I had my last significant breakdown in April 2005 and for most with my condition the best case without one is five years, many are hospitalized at least every two years. I am therefore "living on borrowed time" so to speak. Stress and lack of sleep can push me over the edge, and I have had a bit of both going on recently.


I actually do some writing at times. There is a bit of my work posted in my notes on Facebook and more on my blog at www.hopefuljo.wordpress.com . I often think there is a book in me, but my self-esteem is not strong enough to support that kind of sustained effort. I have actually gotten to the point where most of my writing is done in 140 characters or less on Twitter and simultaneously posted to Facebook via TweetDeck. I also have some editing and publishing experience because I desktop published a magazine some years back.


I have a very strong faith in Jesus Christ and I credit that belief with getting me through much of the distress I have encountered in life. I, however, have difficulty with doing some things associated with faith. I am very uncomfortable in crowds, so I do not regularly attend church. I have a huge amount of paranoia and tend to persecute myself so reading scripture can cause me problems. I can become convinced I am going to Hell and have horrible nightmares. I have to be careful. I do study the Bible, but I have to do it in small bits and make sure I do not linger too long in the very negative passages.


I hope this gives some insight. I really do not know how to express these things very well. Until recently, I have been terribly afraid to discuss any of this. Some people have no empathy and cannot relate or understand and I do not like to stir up hate.


Always,
Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

Monday, February 28, 2011

Some Random Things You May Not Know About Me…

1.   I love my steak medium rare.
2.   I could spend unlimited amounts of money on books and eBooks.
3.   I treat my puppy dog, Hope, as if she is my second child.
4.   I am a very good editor and once published a magazine.
5.   I love electronic gadgets: computers, iPods, BlackBerry cellphones, Nikon digital cameras, digital video cameras, and my Kindle.
6.   I collect so many things my room is overly cluttered.
7.   I love my son, Alex, so much that it is often overwhelming.
8.   I don’t believe in buying songs from iTunes, but always buy my music on CD.
9.   I am a perfectionist, not a good thing at all, as it keeps me from trying things at times.
10.  I am very loyal, trusting, and love my friends and family very deeply.
11.   I have a slow temper, but once I am angry I can hold a grudge for a long time.
12.  I sometimes have a very dirty mouth, usually when angry.
13.  I hate to cook, but am quite good at it.
14.  My favorite color is red.
15.  The Rolling Stones are my favorite Rock stars and I have seen them in concert twice.
16.  I watch very little television and find it very irritating.
17.  I am a Christian, but have moderate attitudes.
18.  I have never flown on an airplane.
19.  I am very good at entertaining myself and almost never become bored.
20. I take care of my 81 year old mother who has Parkinson’s Disease and other maladies.
21.  I believe all people have unlimited creativity and special talents.
22. I love art and can draw and paint a bit.
23. I almost always wear Nikes.
24. I have had the same email address over ten years.
25. Some people say I am a talented writer, but I have not written creatively in a while.

Friday, January 07, 2011

First Thankful List of 2011

I am thankful:
1.   I had a wonderful Christmas here at home with Mom.
2.  I took my BlackBerry Curve 8330 back to Sam’s Club because I was having many problems with it. Mom instead bought me the BlackBerry Curve 8530 from Best Buy. It is working much better for me. I do not worry about it all the time like I was doing with the other one.
3.  I got my Kindle for Christmas. I did not think I would like an e-reader a lot, but I absolutely love my Kindle. I am discovering and re-discovering many classics since I have the Kindle.
4.  Mom gave me $50.00 in a Kindle Store gift card and my niece, Leigh, gave me $25.00 in an Amazon gift card, so I have been able to buy content for my Kindle that is modern.
5.  Mom gave me $150.00 in Borders gift cards and my sister-in-law, Linda, gave $30.00 so I have been able to buy some excellent books. Especially love my Oxford American English Dictionary which I have been wanting for years. I bought some writing books as well, and a Borders Rewards Plus membership which will save me money all year. I still have around $32.00 to spend, so I may buy some eBooks to read on the computer, or more books from the store.
6. Alex sent me a teddy bear outfitted in Marine Corps fatigues with Mountz embroidered on the pocket just like his real uniforms.
7.  I am keeping a detailed calendar of what I do each day on my BlackBerry which transfers to Google calendar.
This helps me budget my time more wisely.
8.  I read 130 books in 2010. Most of them were very enjoyable and I learned a lot through my reading. My goal for 2011 is the same as last year: 120 or more books. However, I hope to write more during 2011 so that may effect how many books I can read. Writing is very time consuming.
9.  I went out to lunch with one of my friends from my old Sunday School class yesterday. It was very good re-connecting with her. I enjoyed our conversation a great deal.
10. I experienced a very blessed year in 2010 and am looking forward to a wonderful year in 2011. I am so fortunate to be surrounded by so much love. For all the drawbacks I face in life I am still a very happy person. Much good fills my days.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Thankful List

I am thankful:

1.   I was able to write many Christmas cards by hand this year.
2.  Borders sent me a 50% off one item and a 33% off one item coupon so I bought two books I had been wanting.
3.  My niece, Leigh, found an appropriate all-in-one for us to send to Alex so that he can copy, scan, fax, and print and hopefully get back in college classes.
4.   Laura visited Friday night and we had a good time.
5.   The sugar cookies I picked up at Sam’s Club were delicious.
6.   We were not stranded when the truck battery went dead because I had my BlackBerry and was able to call my nephew, Jeremy, for assistance.
7.   I have friends all over the world because I have access to my laptop with internet access.
8.   Mom is feeling fairly well.
9.   I am very fortunate and blessed.
10.  Hope is a very loving puppy dog.

Hope relaxing in my chair. She always turns herself into positions that look uncomfortable, but she seems happy.

DSC_0174

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Thankful List

I am thankful:

1.   Mom bought me a BlackBerry as an early Christmas present and is paying for six months of Boost Mobile service.
2.   I found new collars and leashes for Hope that are very pretty and were extremely reasonably priced.
3.   After being extremely upset, Mom has settled down and is being human again.
4.   I entered over 100 contacts into my BlackBerry and called several people I had not spoken to in ages. It was nice hearing their voices.
5.   I bought several wonderful books at Sam’s Club and Borders.
6.   Laura, Alex’s fiancée, asked me to do the writing inside their wedding invitations.
7.   We have heat to keep us warm as days grow cold.
8.   Hope, my puppy dog, is adorable, sweet, and lovable.
9.   So far, Mom and I have not been physically sick this season.
10. We are staying home for Christmas.
11.  I am blessed beyond all measure by the Lord who loves me and cares for my every need.
12.  My son, Alex, has grown into a wonderful young man who exceeds my expectations with his sterling character.
13.  I have read so many great books this year. 122 and counting.
14.  I cooked for Thanksgiving Day and Mom said it was delicious.
15.  I am content with my life, though it is not glamorous or exciting.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Thankful List

I am thankful:
  1. Last week Borders gave me $15.00 in rewards to spend as I liked.
  2. I met my reading goal of 120 books.
  3. Mom enjoyed the meals I made for Thanksgiving Day.
  4. Laura, Alex's girlfriend, has called a few times and I have enjoyed talking to her.
  5. Reba's grandson was born a healthy baby.
  6. Mom bought a new lawnmower.
  7. I have reconnected with many people through facebook.
  8. I am enjoying reading some eBooks on my computer.
  9. I sent my desktop with Leigh to have the data recovered and perhaps it can be repaired.
  10. I bought two new CDs and loaded them on my iPods.