Creative Project–Day Five

Today was a beautiful day and although I got a late start I enjoyed it heartily. Before I went to bed at 4:00 this morning, I drew and painted a picture on the Wacom tablet. It follows:

My journal entry for the day:

Here are the pictures from our walk:

This shot intrigues me because it shows the road fading away and the sky at the horizon, yet the plants in the foreground are prominent.

Gates interest me.

Even in Winter there is green.

The birds will come again.

Cedar trees…

Hawthorn bush…

Old trailer with hose and tarp.

Side of our barn constructed of scrap wood by my father.

The camper where I spent idyllic days during my childhood, many a year ago.

Abandoned Radio Flyer… faded memory of days gone by.

Wood…

Large pinecone…

I changed my font today. I will consider using it in future postings. Let me know what you think of the change.

I hope each of you has a blessed day filled with creative energy.

Always,
Jo Ann

Creative Project–Day Four

With reading less I am accomplishing a lot creatively. However, I am still doing a decent amount of reading daily. I am glad to have lessened the pressure on myself to complete so many books.

My hand written journal entry for the day:

This morning Penny, Mom’s fourteen year old dog, was sleeping in a unique place:

These are some pictures from our walk:

There is something fascinating to me about equipment sitting out waiting for use. I think it is the sense of stored power.

Boat, dock, and pond.

The field growing back toward forest, because my brother, James, is no longer here to fight the trees.

Big rocks…

Vegetation…

Swing and picnic table, abandoned for Winter.

Cane Mill…

No drawing today, because I have been rather busy.

I do have some thoughts about grief. When someone leaves the world, or even exits your life, it leaves a empty space that you always feel should be filled by your loved one. There are marks left not only on your heart, but in the outer world, by the absence. Things change because the work they did is left undone. Often I have heard no one is indispensible, but I tend to disagree. Our loved ones are forever missed where they once smiled, laughed, and walked in our lives.

I hope your day is full of joy and creativity. Make something, no matter how small or to your mind insignificant, and impact the history of the world.

Always,
Jo Ann

Creative Project–Day Three

Firstly, it is Thursday, thankful list day.

I am thankful:

1.   I have some awesome books to inspire me.
2.   Mom brought me lunch from Applebee’s today and it was very good.
3.   I am excited about working creatively this year.
4.   I have not had to go to town this week.
5.   Jeremy, my nephew, has a treadmill that Mom and I can try out here to see if we really want one.
6.   I still have an Amazon gift card from Christmas to use for books.
7.   I was able to set my old laptop up for Mom’s use and she is spending time playing games.
8.   My new coat is very warm and comfortable.
9.   Reba may be able to buy a house.
10. I was able to get our watch warranties extended to five years as advertised.

My journal entry:

The picture of a unicorn that I created on the Wacom tablet:

The photographs I took while walking a mile with Hope this evening:

I thought some of these shots turned out extremely well. I am so fortunate to live in such a beautiful place.

Be creative and enjoy your wonderful life.

Always,
Jo Ann

365 Project–Day 2

I am very excited about this project and so far that is providing motivation to continue. I only hope that I can sustain the willingness to do the work over time. I want to share a picture of my work area with you all. That way you will know where at least a portion of the work I do is accomplished.

Not the most organized space, but it works for me. The computer you see to left has now primarily become for my Mom to use to play games and enjoy. We share the space very well and she likes having me near her.

I wrote the following poem in the wee hours of this morning. It is an unedited first draft:

I have to share a picture of my puppy dog, Hope. She is my sweet companion and loving friend.

Here is a little whimsy I came up with today in response to one of my friend’s works:
Life is just the story we tell ourselves. Truth is the perception we retain of what goes on around and within us. The observer, so they have proven in science, has an effect on the outcome of any situation by virtue of simple presence. So we are creative actors in all we witness.

I thought that quite clever, like some of my 140 character postings to Twitter. What astonishes me is how one person’s creative work can provoke creativity in another person. My contact with others through the internet helps inspire me. It is so wonderful that those of us who would otherwise live quietly isolated lives can communicate with people worldwide by simply using connected devices. I am so glad that I have this ability.

I usually do my creative work during the late hours of the night into the early morning, but am hoping to accomplish some of this project during daytime.

That is all I have currently. I wish all of you a fantastic day filled with productivity.

Always,
Jo Ann

Beginning A Project For 2012

I am hoping to accomplish something creative every day forward for the year. Much of this will entail writing, but there will be some artwork, photography, crafts, and whatever else I come up with.

For today I took a picture of the books I am reading daily:

The two at the bottom I am reading aloud with my Mom as a Bible study. Our church is doing Read The Bible For Life this year, and although I do not attend, we are participating in the study. The other five I chose to read this year for personal edification.

The following is a scan of the hand written journal entry I made this evening:

I mentioned my new Invicta watch and I guess I should show you what it looks like:

I chatted with Alex a bit today and learned he is enjoying Hawaii. He has begun writing again, which I think is marvelous because Alex is very talented.

I am running out of time so this will be my creation for today. Stay tuned for more as the days go by.

Always,
Jo Ann

First Blog Entry of 2012

I am thankful:

1.   I made it through 2011, and accomplished much in the year.
2.   Mom is doing fairly well.
3.   I was able to get a new laptop, Wacom tablet, some artistic programs, and Office Professional 2010 for Christmas.
4.   I have designated my old laptop for Mom’s use and she is learning to use it for playing games she enjoys.
5.   I have lowered my reading goal for 2012 to encourage more creative pursuits.
6.   I chose to do the Read The Bible For Life study with my Mom this year and she is enjoying it so far. I read all the material aloud to her and elaborate on the answers to the questions asked in the study.
7.   I was able to pay my cell phone bill for this month and my car insurance.
8.   We do not have any appointments in the coming week and our shopping is done for a few days. Maybe it will not be necessary to go to town until late in the week.
9.   Winter has been mild and I have not even had to put on a heavy coat this year.
10.  We were able to help Laura, my daughter-in-law, by giving her the mattress set from Alex’s room.
11.  My dog, Hope, is a wonderful companion and very sweet.
12.  The gift cards I was given for Christmas helped me survive December.
13.  Jana gave me a Kindle gift card that I have not used yet.
14.  Our Christmas and New Year meals were delicious.
15.  I took all the library books back and am now reading books I own.
16.  I have found some excellent resources on the internet for writing, art, and free eBooks.
17.  I have adequate shelter, clothing, transportation, and nutrition.
18.  God blessed me with intelligence and talent.
19.  I have experienced love in my life.
20. I have survived the ravages of pain and hate.

I am enjoying my new computer a great deal and am so glad I can share the older one with my Mom. It gives her something that challenges her mind and keeps her entertained. I am hoping to use my new equipment to further my artistic endeavors this year as well as my writing. Cutting back on my reading goal should give me more time to use creatively. The only thing I lack now is inspiration and I am hoping that will be in ample supply. I have some books that should help with it.

I like doing the Bible study with my Mom. Her attention motivates me to do the daily readings. I probably would not do the study without her involvement. Making her happy makes me feel I am a success.

I have been watching the Republican debates and though I am not happy with everything President Obama has done, I do not see where any of these candidates would be a superior choice. I am afraid there is still a long process before our economy will recover and I do not think one man has the power to do all that is necessary to accomplish effective change. The people of our country can not make things better when they are so divided in their resolve. Working together is the only effective way to improve our nation’s problems.

If anyone is lonely and sad I highly recommend acquiring a puppy dog to provide companionship and lift the spirits. My sweet Shih Tzu, Hope, is a wonderful addition to my life. I do not think I would be nearly as happy without her presence.

I hope everyone has a wonderful year full of blessings and happiness. I encourage each one to take time to be thankful. Gratitude adds satisfaction to life.

Always,
Jo Ann

A Tribute to My Mom

God Knew I Needed Her

When God created my mother
He must have spent some extra time,
Knowing she would grow up without
A mother to guide her in womanly ways.

He must have placed great compassion
Within her tender heart knowing
Her family would need special care,
Especially preparing her for a child like me.

God must have heaped her full
Of patience so she would be able
To cope with the many difficulties
That have beset her later years.

He must have made her particularly
Strong so her heart would not break
With the hardship of losing many of
Those who were dearest to her.

God must have prepared her
With great goodness, kindness, and
Love to be the one person who
I can always depend upon.

He must have known being
My mother would be a trial,
And so blessed her with the
Ability to be the very best.

Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Thankful List–Wednesday, November 2, 2011

I am thankful:

1.   I finished staining the porch and ramp, which turned out well.
2.   I have a delightful puppy dog who loves me no matter what.
3.   I have been writing more lately, and am beginning to feel comfortable with the work.
4.   Mom has been doing well.
5.   My nephew and I have had some great conversations recently.
6.   Alex is becoming comfortable at his station in Japan.
7.   My computer did not require replacement and is working well now.
8.   I have a safe place to live.
9.   My niece was able to get a new car after her van was stolen.
10.  Libraries provide interesting books to read.

Part of the 99%???

Why I Understand Struggle and Heartache

I read the stories of others and am reminded to be thankful for all the wonderful blessings I have.

I have Schizo-Affective Disorder, which is in simple terms a combination of Schizophrenia and Bi-Polar Disorder. My condition is debilitating and without medication, I am unable to function.

I was originally diagnosed as a severe Paranoid Schizophrenic in 1981. It was then believed I would never be more than a vegetable needing care for all my needs. Thanks to my parents, medical intervention, and a great deal of prayer I recovered enough to go to work and live normally. I continued to have breaks with reality because I was unable to afford regular medication and in those periods, I would become unable to work. Hallucinations and paranoid delusions make one unfit for the working world.

During one of the good periods, without medication, I became pregnant and gave birth to my wonderful son. His father did not want our marriage to continue and did not want a child. We returned to my parents’ home because the stress of the break-up caused me to breakdown.

When I recovered, I went to work and became manager of a convenience store working for Marathon Oil. I paid for Cigna health and disability insurance. I won many commendations for my accomplishments at work. I worked diligently and well for several years. Workers became undependable and scarce and I had to work eighteen-hour days to keep the store operational. I hardly slept or spent any time with my family. After months, I lost my grip on reality and had to stay home one day. My district manager fired me rather than allow me the sick days and vacation time I had earned. I lost my health and disability insurance. The disability insurance would have been paying me a comfortable wage all these years, but the company cheated me out of my earned benefits by unfair termination. I was too sick to fight for my rights. I was married at the time so my husband and family helped me regain my senses. I was a full-time homemaker, wife, and mother for some years.

My nephew and father died suddenly and the stress led to my having another breakdown. My husband was unable to deal with the pressure and divorced me. It was 1997 and I was finally forced to seek Social Security Disability benefits because I could not survive without the help. Even then, I lived with my Mom to avoid homelessness for my son and myself.

There have been three more significant breaks with reality in the intervening years. I eventually had to declare bankruptcy because I could not maintain the payments on my debt.

I managed to raise my son and he has become a United States Marine. I have become full-time caregiver for my Mom who has serious health problems including Parkinson’s disease, mini-strokes, and mild dementia.

I live on a Social Security Disability Income of $790 a month and a medically needy Medicaid benefit that helps pay some of my medical expenses. I contribute by caring for my Mom who would otherwise require full-time care.

I would enjoy a part-time job, but I would lose my Medicaid benefits and the stress might bring on another breakdown, so I remain unemployed.

I am very thankful to be able to write this today because there have been many times when I was unable to form cognizant sentences. I hope my words touch you and make you realize there are some who need government benefits to survive. I am doing my best and functioning at a high level, but this is a good moment. God willing things will continue well, but with a condition like mine, there are no guarantees.

A Tribute To All Those We Have So Tragically Lost

At Great Cost

He was a decent student, bright,
A well-behaved and happy child,
He made his family very proud.

After graduation he said his goodbyes,
He went away to conquer strict training
And become his dream: A U.S. Marine.

He came home briefly in triumph
With his hard-won money to spend
And fulfilled his early promise.

His duty called him far away,
His family worried and prayed
Hoping always for his safety.

One day without warning, it happened,
Everything went horribly wrong,
He did not make it back from the field.

Every military family’s nightmare
An unexpected knock upon the door,
The news that he had sacrificed it all.

He wanted to serve his country
And he gave his lifeblood
A hero to keep us safe and free.

He stands with the angels now
Forever vigilantly watching over
Loved ones he suddenly left behind.

Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Tuesday, October 18, 2011

A Somewhat Telling Poem

Regret to Victory

She called misfortune by writing
Her rancor out in a card for one
Who constant mistreated her love.

When he learned of her forbidden act
He turned cold, distant, and promptly
Cast her out from her home beside him.

She felt betrayed by life and chose
A bottle of lethally strong medication
To end the pain of living again alone.

Her child intervened and called
Unwanted help to save her from
The certain clutches of devouring death.

They took her away to the locked ward
Where bewildered people wander
Lost in thought separate from the world.

She recovered a modicum of herself,
But found her belongings scattered
Outdoors for scavengers to plunder.

She lost much that was irreplaceable
But she survived to raise her child
To the very pinnacle of manhood.

That brave boy became exemplary
Cheating death over and again
A United States Marine.

Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Where I Ponder My Choices

I finished reading Overbite by Meg Cabot this evening. It was a very good novel with an unexpected, but satisfying ending. I am trying to decide on a new book to begin. Perhaps I have too many to choose from because I cannot seem to make up my mind. I am 9 books behind on my goal of reading 120 this year. This is disappointing, but the goal is only a target, not something I must complete.


The new Kindles are to be released next month, but I think I am waiting a while before I purchase one. In fact, I am in a holding pattern on most electronics. I want to wait for the next operating system before I get a new computer. I want to get the next model Nikon when it first comes out. I want to see if the next generation of tablets and e-readers are better. I am content with my BlackBerry, although I am considering an Android or iPhone if plans and pricing come down. My iPods are sufficient for the time being.


It seems I am regressing to older technology lately. I am so taken with the books I purchased at Borders’ going out of business sale and those I borrow from the library that I am hardly using my Kindle 3. I have started writing with an ink pen rather than on my computer and am enjoying seeing words fill my notebooks.


This entry was written in my notebook and copied so that I might add it to my blog.


Hope all of you are doing well.


Always,
Jo Ann

My Recent Poems I Want To Share

September 22, 2011
The Surface Isn’t Real

When you see someone smiling,
You may not know they are
Hiding their pain.

When you think someone's lazy,
Because they don't work every day,
It may not be by personal choice.

When you laugh at someone,
Because they aren't as perfect as you,
You may not know how hard they try.

There are hidden afflictions
That you may not understand,
But that are devastatingly real.

Don't make the mistake of judgment
Without knowing the truth,
Because you could hurt someone deeply.

Try to be gentle, try to be kind,
Because some things are hidden
From the naked eye.

September 26, 2011
Indebted

You know you are loved when someone hugs and holds you tight.
You know someone cares when they give you something nice.
You know you are safe when your doors are locked tight.

Our military personnel get no gentle caresses.
They go without gifts on many special occasions.
The places where they rest may be very unsafe.

They give their lives to show you that you are loved.
Their service is a gift which no one can repay.
They keep you safe each and every day.

God Bless The Marines, The Army, The Navy,
The Air Force, and The National Guard.

Sunday, October 9, 2011
Buying Inspiration

School supplies are not strictly
Necessary to my life anymore,
Yet every year I frequent the sales
That herald Back to School.

I visit the overstuffed shelves
Of brightly colored notebooks,
My eyes searching out attractive
Covers to bind my poetic words.

I linger over the place where
The pens and pencils are displayed,
Hoping to find a writing implement
That might spur my muse to activity.

I am the one strolling the aisles
Wishing some simple purchase
Might rekindle the imagination
I so blithely enjoyed as a youth.

Sunday, October 9, 2011
Praise to Him

He set the sun, moon, and stars
In motion and brought our world to life.
Yet He hears when I am crying
And cares enough to save my soul.

Some think me insignificant
But He died to set me free.
He knows when I am hurting and comes near
Even though many others have forsaken me.

He loves me without condition
Although some of my words and actions
Surely make Him very sad.
Even when I am bad, He stands by me.

He is my Maker and the Author of Eternity
I owe Him all my love and allegiance
For He has given me constant access
To all the glories He stored up for me.

From the beginning, He knew me
And loved me without reservation.
My friend, my Savior, Jesus Christ
Will never give me up for I am His.

I will rejoice with the saints and angels
For I am bought at great price
The King of Kings sacrificed Himself
That I might one day meet Him in Paradise.

Monday, October 10, 2011
Unleash Poetry

If you wish to write a poem
Gather your favorite notebook and pen,
Or open a document on your computer,
In a comfortable place of relative peace.

Do not over think and confound
Your muse, but try to catch your
Wayward thoughts on the open page.
Simplicity pays dividends in words.

You do not have to be experienced;
Anyone can shape words to the form
Of attractive verse, it only takes
A bit of earnest effort and dedication.

You are by nature creatively gifted,
Able to write with individual depth
And intense personal clarity,
You are a poet by virtue of birth.

Open your inmost heart and harness
The power of your infinite imagination,
Allow your words to flow in a torrent
And make a poem out of your life.

Monday, October 10, 2011
Time Occupied

Make no mistake my day is not
A honeymoon infused with the scent
Of Water Babies suntan lotion
Where lulling in the drowsy warmth
Of the vacation bright sun is acceptable.

This day began with the annoying blare
Of the alarm I so carelessly forgot
To reset yesterday to my great dismay,
But that is fine, I need only have
Scarce hours of sleep anyway.

The gooey sweet taste of warm Moon Pie
Brought me out of my enduring stupor.
The smooth texture of computer keys
Affording me the timely information
I need to choose the path of my day.

I am not alone, but the constant drone
Of my mother’s television is no company.
Soft curling fur under my fingers eases
My weary mind from its preoccupation
With the daunting problems facing me.

Pulling apt words out of nothing
To form into efficient lines on
Crisp blank paper is a worthy task
Requiring difficult effort which
Ultimately brings refreshing satisfaction.